There is nothing wrong with your computer. Do not attempt to adjust the screen. We are controlling the transmi-, uh.. browser. We control the horizontal [starts giggling] [ahem] and the vertical. We can deluge.. yeah. Deluge. We can *deluge* you with a thousand webpages or expand one site to a confusing sort of crystal clarity. We can shape your vision to anything our imaginations can conceive. For the next hour, or until this zombie-mind-warp thing we're doing to you wears off, we will control all that you see and hear.
You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the deepest (and most certifiable) inner minds to...
[screeching noises] Please stand by.